Being
close to God is my life goal. Intimacy with Him leads me to “love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”
(Galatians 5:22-23). Closeness with God makes me whole. My first step to
closeness with God is seeking Him. God is always seeking me and He is always
with me (Psalm 139:1-16). When I seek God one thing becomes very apparent; God does
not separate himself from me, my sinful heart and mind are what keep me from
Him. I must allow God to show me what is in my heart which is keeping me from
Him. I must allow Him to clarify my thoughts because I cannot always will what
I think.
Solomon
wrote “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of
life” (Proverbs 4:23). The orientation of my life (my heart) affects my
thoughts, my words and ultimately, my decisions. No wonder Solomon advised to
guard it with all my effort! Since my heart refers to the overall orientation
of my inner being, I must be oriented towards God and not myself. My biggest
obstacle to a clean heart is fear. Fear of not being able to provide for my
family is a big one. If God suddenly called me to leave the military my first
fear would be providing for them. My heart would be focused on my abilities, my
control over life and my career; it would be focused on me. I think it is
natural to have these fears. My heart must be oriented to God so these fears
turn into trust.
My
mind without God is limited to my own human understanding. When Christ came to
this earth he taught a completely different way of thinking. The “Beatitudes” found in Mathew, chapter 5,
seem logically flawed. The reason they seem flawed is because my human
understanding thinks in very selfish terms. Looking at the beatitudes,
understanding meekness is the most difficult for me. “Blessed are the meek, for
they will inherit the earth” (Matt. 5:5). This is largely untrue on this earth.
Meek means quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive (Dictionary.com).
The world takes advantage of people like this. The world walks all over these
people. Does meekness portray any of our political leaders? Not that I am aware
of. Does meekness portray any of my military leaders? Not that I can think of. I
believe Christ is giving us a glimpse of His kingdom. Meekness will be a
character of those who inherit the Earth in the life to come.
I
can tell God is working on my heart, and on my mind. He often calls me to serve
where meekness is required. I must stifle my selfish wants and ambitions and
allow a person to “take advantage” of me. When God calls me to serve someone I
cannot stop to think about whether they deserve it or not. I cannot stop to
think about the inconvenience of interrupting my plans. I also must ignore the
fear of being “used” and simply obey.
My heart focused
on God allows me to receive the calling of the Holy Spirit. My mind, renewed by
Christ, no longer relies on my own understanding. I can understand things the
way Christ does. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the
renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). With my heart I believe
and receive God. With my mind I carry out His commandments and confess to the
world He is God. “For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with
the mouth one confesses and is saved (Romans 10:10).
